Arrange marriage Good or Bad ? ? ? अरेंज मैरिज गुड या बैड? ? ?

      We start thinking about Arrange marriage Good or bad first we have known about    what is arranged marriage ....where its come what is it's history....

    

What is arranged marriage:

            An arranged marriage is a marriage of two people that has been established or negotiated and agreed upon if you will way before the parties involved enter into a relationship. The  arrangement is brokered by someone else,usually the parents. Arranged marriage are common in some parts of Asia,Africa and Middle East are also 

common in some regions and royal families.

 

   The match could be selected by parents, a matchmaking agent,matrimonial sides or a trusted third party.

    In many communities, priests or religious leaders as well as relatives or family friends play a major role in matchmaking.

 

   History of arranged marriage:

           The Indian subcontinent has historically been home to a wide variety of wedding systems. Some were unique to the region.In a swayamvara, the girl's parents broadcast the intent of the girl to marry and invited all interested men to be present in a wedding hall on a specific date and time.

The girl, who was also often given some prior knowledge about the men or was aware of their general reputation, would circulate the hall and indicate her choice by garlanding the man she wanted to marry. Sometimes the father of the bride would arrange for a competition among the suitors, such as a feat of strength, to help in the selection process.

Another variant was the Gandharva marriage, which involved simple mutual consent between a man and a woman based on mutual attraction and no rituals or witnesses. 

Under the system they advocated (sometimes called Manuvad), women were stripped of their traditional independence and placed permanently in male custodianship: first of their fathers in childhood, then of their husbands through married life, and finally of their sons in old age.

It is also speculated that parental control of marriage may have emerged during this period as a mechanism to prevent the intermixing of ethnic groups and castes.

Early marriage, in which girls were married before they reached puberty also became prevalent, though not universal, over time. This emergence of early arranged marriages in the Indian subcontinent was consistent with similar developments elsewhere, such as Indonesia, various Muslim regions and South Pacific societies.

Commentators on both Hindu and European Jewish communities (where early arranged marriages had also gained prevalence) have hypothesized that the system may have emerged because "the answer to the raging hormones associated with teenage sexuality was early, arranged marriage."

With kinship groups being vie

wed a primary unit to which social loyalty was owed by individuals, marriage became an affair deeply impacting the entire family for Indian Hindus and Muslims alike and key to "the formation or maintenance of family alliances." Sometimes, these arrangements were made at the birth of the future husband and wife with promises exchanged between the two families. Where specific alliances were socially preferred, often an informal right of the first refusal was presumed to exist. For instance, marriages between cousins is permissible in Islam (though not in most Hindu communities), and the girl's mother's sister  was considered to have the first right to "claim" the girl as for her son 

evolved where two families unite by exchanging women in two brother-sister pairs through marriage.As with other cultures(where the brother of a deceased man is obligated to marry his widow) also became customary in some regions for all religious groups, partially to ensure that clan alliances and clan ownership of land rights remained intact even if the husband died.

Some point to sad arranged marriage are good like :

1.Respect:

       In arranged marriage your parents and extended family that has decided on the marriage, you will never even think of doing anything that would make them feel embarrassed. There is, therefore, a lot more respect between the two people than there is in love marriage.

Parents surely have more experience of what awaits after marriage and understand what’s best for their child. They understand you, your needs and also the complexities of this relationship much better.

2.​The courtship period:

Society is evolving and so is the concept of an arranged marriage. Couples prefer to meet multiple times before taking a decision and discuss their expectations from marriage. Not just this, even families are okay with a long courtship period so that the bride and groom can get to understand each other better.

3.​The choices

You might be spoiled for choice when opting for an arranged marriage. Thanks to matrimonial apps and sites, you can hunt for the perfect partner online while sitting at the comfort of your home with your parents. It’s not necessary that your interfering relatives or neighbours bring ‘rishta’ and connect you with a prospective groom or bride’s family. In fact, you can take charge of the entire procedure and look for someone who shares similar beliefs and moral values.

4.You need to take a leap of faith

At the end of the day, whether it is love or arranged marriage, you have to take a leap of faith and hope for a happy married life. Marriage is a gamble and there is no sure-shot way to predict its success. What matters is that no one should be forced to take this decision and should tie the knot only when he or she is ready.

NEGATIVE SIDES OF ARRANGE MARRIAGE:

• The first thing (well, the second - after gender) that families look for while hunting for a bride/groom is the caste of the person. Matrimonial ads in India have caste-based sections. Arranged marriage is the primary reason why the caste system is able to continue in India.
• When arranged marriage is the norm, it becomes an issue of prestige for the parents to ensure that their child has an arranged marriage only. They go to extreme lengths to ensure that the son/daughter goes through an arranged marriage and does not find a mate themselves. There is bad curtailment of freedom, especially for girls. 
• The whole process of arranged marriage can be dehumanising for the people getting married - especially for the girl - because the family would be looking for a thing satisfying their requirements rather than a person. In some cases, the girl is paraded in front of the family of the groom as if she were cattle, and she could be rejected for anything from her crooked teeth to her breast size.
  
• Arranged marriages in India are often associated with dowry, since it is once again thought of as an issue of status for the families. In a lot of cases, the girls being married are under-age too. Thus arranged marriages in India are often associated with two social evils badly affecting the status of women.
• Since arranged marriage is more like a marriage of families than a marriage of persons, a divorce would put the family in a bad light. The fear of bringing shame to the family is one reason why couples continue with bad marriages - especially in the case of women with abusive marriages. This problem wouldn't exist if marriage was thought of as being the couple's business alone.
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                 In my mind  Arrange marriage are best but don't sacrifices your personal life in any burden of family or relatives or any other because after some age there is no one stand with you .Only you and your life partner live together no one helps you any time of illness you partner only take care of yourself.